“Wear comfortable shoes.”
In April of 2014, I showed up for my first Lobby Day
experience with the Eating Disorder Coalition excited, but not knowing quite
what to expect. Sure, the Coalition had
sent us first-timers a precursory email saying, "Here's what to expect at
Lobby Day…make sure you wear comfortable shoes!" but until you're smack in
the midst of Lobby Day and you start realizing that the phrase “next building”
means something very different on the vastness of Capitol Hill, you don’t
appreciate what amazing advice that is.
The last time I was in Washington, DC was during high school
when I attended a summer debate camp. I
know. I was super cool. While most boys growing up a few blocks from
Wrigley Field in Chicago might have dreams of playing baseball, my dreams were
about reading memos, writing policy briefs and wearing power suits. So I was definitely predisposed to at least
finding lobby day interesting. (Also I
had just finished watching both seasons of House of Cards, so was having
delusions of political grandeur that led me to determine I was not above a
little blackmail or something if it came down to it because, you know, that’s
how much I care.)
I’ve had the humbling privilege of working with people
suffering from eating disorders for most of my career, including developing
programs and providing education to families, professionals, and the community
at large. I’m very familiar with the
frustration of trying to convey the understanding of eating disorders as
disorders of pain, loneliness and shame, which we know they are, and not
disorders of vanity or self-obsession, which we know they are not. Even though I know there are a myriad of very
complicated factors responsible for the development of eating disorders, I’ve
also seen the very real damage to self-esteem that can occur via societally
sanctioned messages about weight and size and the way that these messages can
be propagated as well as created by the media.
These messages may not cause eating disorders per se, but they don’t
help and they are harmful in other very real ways. So I was eager to learn about the proposed
bill and to experience the process of how lobbying works.
The training day started with meeting my cohort of fellow
activists. I cannot convey how moving
and humbling it was to hear everyone’s stories and their reasons for being
there. From those who have lost someone
close to them to this terrible illness, those who have themselves suffered,
those who were there because they were passionate about educating others about
the issues, to those of us who work with people suffering from eating
disorders, it was evident how deeply committed everyone was. Everyone understood the seriousness and impact
of eating disorders, but more striking to me was that there was not a sense of
hopelessness despite how difficult eating disorders can be to experience and to
treat. Everyone was there to DO
something, not by using position or access or money, but by the profound and
simple virtue of being a constituent and a citizen and taking the time to show
up and “make the ask.”
It was this last piece that was a surprise and a revelation
to me, namely the reminder that we have the responsibility and the power to use
our voices, as individuals and as a group, to let our senators and
representatives know the issues about which we care, and to demonstrate that
care not by threats, invectives or game-playing, but rather by embodying this
care by speaking with integrity and passion.
Even if there is a member who might not agree with you or who might not
be willing to join you by supporting a particular measure, I have to believe
that simply showing up and representing the millions of people affected by
eating disorders made a difference.
Maybe our efforts help a staffer open her or his eyes to the impact of
eating disorders, or someone who has known a friend or family member who
struggled who appreciates that someone else cares as much as they do, or even
someone who is her- or him-self struggling and hasn’t been able to acknowledge
it. Having people who have experienced
it and their families, friends, and professionals come talk to them about the
importance of these issues can make a sea change in others’ attitudes and
understanding about eating disorders.
As someone who often feels like I am spending most of my
time vacillating between preaching to the choir or to the proverbial brick
wall, I found myself leaving my first Lobby Day with a sense of renewed hope
and a reminder of why we all do what we do. And I left reminded that when
you’re trying to change a lot of people’s minds by knocking on a lot of
people’s doors, you have got to be patient.
I was reminded that one voice matters, as does one willing ear. And perhaps most importantly, I was reminded
that the efforts of a few impassioned people can have a disproportionate
impact, which is why I’m so grateful to be able to join the Eating Disorder
Coalition again at their fall Lobby Day. I’ll be the one wearing super comfortable
shoes.
Norman H.
Kim, Ph.D.
National
Director
Reasons
Eating Disorder Center
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